Parental Anger
When we're angry, it's because we think we need to protect ourselves from some threat.
We forget that a misbehaving child is not a threat, just a confused or upset young human with an immature brain. We forget that we're escalating the drama by acting in a threatening way ourselves. We forget that our responsibility as a parent is to act like a grown-up, calmly coaching our child so they can learn, grow, and develop the ability to regulate their own emotions and behavior.
When your child's behavior sends you into your own temper tantrum, you'll be sure that your child is the problem. But any time you "lose it" that's a sign that you're triggered.
Start Here:
When You Get Angry At Your Child
Every parent gets angry at his or her children sometimes. Here's how to handle your rage so you don't dump it on your kids.
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Honesty, Anger and Parenting
"Dr. Laura...I think we as parents need to be honest about our own anger, disappointment, sadness about our child's choices..."
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Angry? Don't lose it. Use it!
That's an upsetting photo, right? Most of us don't realize how scary our angry faces can be for our children.
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7 Tips to Stay Cool When Your Child Acts Up
"Let it go. The moment you feel your hackles rising, let it go. If you let it upset you, what follows is anger, and to quote Yoda, that leads to the dark side.... Notice … and interrupt it. Find your own way of accepting things with grace." -- Steve Errey
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When Your Child Makes You Want To Scream: 10 Steps to Calm, Connect & Teach
"Your step by step role plays are a godsend, I love that you show me exactly what to say. But the hardest thing is still to calm myself down when my kids get wild and my buttons get pushed. I end up screaming despite my best intentions." - Mollie
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Can You Love Unconditionally When You're Furious?
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." -- Victor Frankl
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"I read your Toddler tips yesterday and tried each suggestion, and LO! My daughter has not been fighting me! Like some kind of magic it just works!"
Karina
Dr. Laura is a parent whisperer! - Liz McIntosh
Liz McIntosh
Dr. Laura's parenting advice completely changed my relationship with my daughter, improved her self-esteem, and transformed our lives. Providing my daughter with acknowledgement of her feelings and point of view reduced her oppositional behaviors and emotional meltdowns to nearly none. - Jodie Tokatlian
Dr. Laura, you have created miracles, large and small, in so many lives and our children thank you.
Folks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
I love AhaParenting because there is always a "pick yourself up and try again" to it. - Chantal Harrison
Chantal Harrison
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Andrei
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
Thank YOU so much for your encouraging weekly newsletters and your Facebook posts. Since I began following your approach, I have noticed a difference in the compassion I show to myself, and how much more that helps me connect with my kids. We are all feeling a lot more overall peace!
Thank you for your weekly emails and your books. They're a life line for me when I really need support during a rough patch. - Lisa Fernandez
Lisa Fernandez
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
Yes. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. It makes a difference.
Dear Dr. Laura Markham! I am a mother of 2 boys - 16 and 7 years old. I am extremely grateful for all the emotional and relational education that you provide us and also for your incredible loving energy to support our evolution as parents, as human beings. I took your course 3 years ago. Although the challenges of the parent-child relationship change almost every year, your parenting principles are equally valuable and effective. It's hard to reprogram the emotional-behavioral pattern learned in my own childhood... so I find it very helpful to go back to your teachings to regain trust and patience as a parent every time new challenges trigger my anxiety. To have more clarity, to reset my energy. Thank you!!
Janina-Madalina Dobrescu
Your philosophies are the only tools we've come across which offer practical advice grounded in clearly laid out lay terminology. Our family life day-to-day is nothing short of a miracle, thanks to you! - Dana Questad
Dana Questad
