Early Teen
Age 13-15 years
Parenting an early teen is a lot like parenting a toddler in some ways. The developmental stage is all about moving toward independence, not always gracefully or responsibly.
We can't change our child's basic personality, and the outside environment has a profound effect, from peers to school to media. But how we parent makes the critical difference in how our teen acts, from how rebellious he is to whether she throws emotional tantrums, from whether he gets enough sleep to how studious she is.
If we can manage our own emotions, extend respect, offer appropriate freedom, and maintain intimacy and communication -- a tall order for most parents -- we can be pleasantly surprised by how rewarding the teen years can be. The rewards are huge, as we watch our child transform and blossom in front of our eyes.
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Game Plan for Peaceful Parenting Your Early Teen
So your child is becoming a teenager, and you're wondering whether you can use peaceful parenting to raise a terrific teen who's responsible, considerate, and shows good judgment, at least most of the time? Yes! In fact, this approach will help you stay more connected with your child, so parenting is easier.
Read MoreNavigate Your Teen’s Emerging Independence
Read More"Our 13 year old wants to spend all her time with her friends. What happened to our family?"
Setting Limits with Preteens and Teens
Setting limits with preteens and teens is like setting limits with any age child. We regulate our own emotions. We understand and acknowledge our child's perspective. We stay connected while we help them through their emotional response. We enforce our limits, with humor and affection.
Read MoreBeyond Discipline for Teens
The teen years are notoriously challenging for parents. Much like the toddler years, kids sometimes seem intent on doing exactly the opposite of what we ask. And for some of the same reasons: Their job now is to find their sea legs as a person, to shape an identity, to sort out what's important to them. Their integrity would be compromised by simply doing what we ask because we ask it. They need to believe it's the right thing for THEM.
Read MoreWant a Trustworthy 14 Year Old?
I had a major Aha! moment, one summer when my almost 14 year old daughter had some friends over for a sleepover. Now, this was the second night in a row of sleepovers, which is not something we normally do. I agreed reluctantly, after extracting several promises from my daughter, including her reassurance that the girls would have the lights off and actually try to go to sleep at 11pm. Not only did they have to get up for summer camp at 7:30am, but I personally wanted to be in bed at 11pm.
Read MoreBest Books on Parenting Teens
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