If you live in the United States, you may be wondering how you can celebrate July 4th with children. Here are 5 simple tips to help your family enjoy celebrating this quintessential summer holiday together, even if your child gets dysregulated with crowds or loud noises.

1. Plan around your child's ages and sensory preferences.

Many young children find the noise of fireworks terrifying. Even older kids, especially those with sensory issues, can become completely dysregulated by the booms, the flashing lights, and the crowds. So while you're planning, ask yourself whether your child likes new experiences and isn't bothered by loud noise, or whether they could find the the whole experience scary. Plan accordingly. 

For instance:

  • Locate yourself well back from the crush of the crowd. 
  • Bring noise canceling headphones. 
  • Plan for one parent to take a sensitive child into the car if necessary.  
  • Bring something in the car that will distract your kids and prep them for sleep, like a food treat, a sheet to use as a tent, a favorite stuffed animal and book.
  •  Make sure you have an easy exit so that you don't spend the hour after the fireworks with howling children in a traffic jam.

2. Give kids plenty of warning.

Explain to your child that the Fourth of July marks the day that the United States declared independence and became a new country, so we celebrate it. Traditionally, celebrations include fireworks, parades, and summer picnics with family. If your child has never seen fireworks, show them a few videos to get them interested. Explain that they will have to stay up late since it needs to be dark to see fireworks. Let them pick a cozy blanket for the car trip home. Warn them that the fireworks will be loud, and let them try out noise canceling headphones at home. 

3. Find some things your child can love about the holiday.

Even if your child doesn't like the fireworks, there are many fun options to include in your plans for the day. A water balloon toss, watermelon bowling, strawberry shortcake or a beach visit could become a beloved part of your annual July 4th ritual. Once your child enjoys and looks forward to the holiday, they might gradually get excited about the idea of fireworks, especially as they get older. 

4. Explain your kids' needs to other adults as you make plans.

Sometimes parents find themselves caught between the needs of their child and the expectations of their extended family or friends. Many adults don't remember that young children often don't like fireworks, even if they've raised children of their own! Just give them advance warning that you are hoping your child will love the fireworks, but if not, you may be resorting to a backup plan. Instead of counting on the evening together, agree to meet before the fireworks to celebrate the big day with a picnic or other activity. 

5. The most important tip, as always in parenting, is to manage yourself so that you can stay calm.

Our most important job as parents is to keep ourselves in a good mood, so we can stay patient in the face of childish behavior and teach our kids through role-modeling how to self-regulate and relate when things are stressful. If you’re calm and enjoying yourself, you'll be better able to help your kids stay on an even keel.

That means managing your own expectations! With children, that means that you remind yourself that your children are still young, and there will be many opportunities to celebrate in the future. Plan as thoughtfully as you can. Then, enjoy the moment, whatever it may bring. Someday you won't need to plan around your child, because they'll be more independent. For now, enjoy Independence day in whatever way you can!