Resources for Parents of Kids Who Need More

Do you have a complex child? Parenting a child who is strong-willed, highly sensitive, neurodivergent, or facing other unique challenges requires an enhanced level of empathy and understanding from their parents.

About 40% of children fit these descriptions, necessitating a parenting approach that is both nurturing and adaptive. Peaceful Parenting is foundational in parenting complex kids. Then, leave no stone unturned to figure out what your unique child needs so they can feel safe and regulate their nervous system.

High-needs, strong-willed, highly sensitive, neurodivergent, anxious, and otherwise challenging kids have nervous systems that get easily dysregulated. So they regularly need some extra support from you, the parent. To give them that support, you'll need to start by calming yourself, and then reframing your child's challenging behavior. But if you can remember to start by seeing your child's perspective, you'll not only restore calm in the moment, you'll also, gradually, equip your child with lifelong self-management skills.

Supporting these unique children is founded on an understanding of the neurobiology of nervous system states, and the impact of stress on your child's ability to stay calm and to cooperate. This isn't just about managing tough moments; it's about forging a path of heartfelt connection and support so your child has more inner resources. And, of course, when they feel better, they act better!

Engaging with our children on this nervous system level can be more challenging than playful activities like Roughhousing. Yet, there's an unmatched reward in connecting deeply with your child, especially in moments that could easily spiral into chaos.

Why is this so crucial? Because in these moments, we're not just parents; we're role models, guides, and safe havens. Our calm presence (co-regulation) helps our children find their own peace, teaching them invaluable lessons in emotional regulation and resilience.

Understanding The Needs Driving Your Child's Behavior

When your child acts in ways that are challenging, it can be hard to stay patient. That's especially true if you think they could do better, that they're being difficult on purpose, or giving you a hard time.

But when kids give us a hard time, it is always because they're having a hard time. Behavior is always driven by big feelings and unmet needs. Another way to say this is that the nervous system gets dysregulated and is trying to re-establish a sense of safety, control, self-soothing.

So if you find yourself wondering WHY on earth your child would behave in a certain way, I've got you! For a glimpse of what might be underneath your child's baffling behavior, take a look at this printable. Notice that if we're willing to look past the superficial external protective defenses and disruptive behavior that your child uses to adapt to their environment, we gain a deeper understanding of what might be driving the challenging behavior.